Clearly, I’m not the new cool

I’m kinda picky about my music, and my tastes go all over the place. But I found a great radio station, and in particular I like the morning DJ. Fridays, she does an all-request show, which is usually fantastic. This morning, I was a little less than thrilled, and in particular had issues with this song. It’s Jack Johnson, and there was an acoustic version on the radio. Maybe it’s better when it’s not acoustic…but these lyrics really needed something.

To be fair, I do have some Jack Johnson on my iPod…but I also still have the Spice Girls, so that’s not saying much. At least I finally evicted Hanson.

Girl I Wanna Lay You Down
I come over early in the morning
just like a heat wave, without warning

Awesome. I love hot flashes. Especially first thing in the morning.

And when I touch you my heart begins to flutter

I predict this will rhyme with butter.

‘Cause you’re smooth and creamy like peanut butter

But peanut butter?? Not sexy, Jack.

Girl I wanna lay you down
I said Girl I wanna lay you down

OK, so it’s a song having sex, not being sexy. Gotcha.

I’m gonna flood you, like a love river
Aww baby the post man, is about to deliver

Ohhh…It’s also a song about bukkake. Though not quite the melody I’d pick as a soundtrack.

I cook you up some dinner, a little pasta

But I thought it was morning?

Listen to some music, a little Rasta

*wink* *wink*

I said girl I wanna lay you down,
I said girl I wanna lay you down,

At this point, Jack said, “Bridge.” I wondered if he had heard of “rehearsals.”

Awww baby baby
Don’t you know I need your love?!

So turn out the lights, bring out the candles,
wrap your arms around my love handles,


They say the passion may not always endure,
but this feeling that I have for you is burning up my world.

There’s a cream for that…

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